Saigo no Dansu

So I haven't really posted because I've been sooo busy lately!

I had so much fun in San Diego, I'm still in shock. We had a safe, easy trip there. Not only was it a blast, it was also extremely intimate and romantic for us. I see that California is SO much more accepting of lesbian couples holding hands. I half-expected to have weird looks or objections.. Instead all we got were smiles, friendly conversations with people, and even extended discounts to me for Kristina's military ID because we're together. It helped me think about the future because I really didn't get sick of her in 5 whole days. So living together some day may be an option. So far we've been very hesitant about it, for good reasons!

I got to see the pandas, and take billions of pictures. Plus koalas, Seaworld, and the Body Worlds museum exhibit. Got lost a few times, found a drag queen bar, and learned the San Diego trolley system VERY well. Without K, I would've gotten lost SO many times!

She went to Las Vegas two days after we got back with some work buddies. I house-sat for her to take care of her dog and cat and cleaned her house SO well so that when she got back she wouldn't be stressed out by a messy house. =) She really liked that. Aww.

Now I'm just recovering from so much fun time! I have a lot of money to save back up, but I want to buy sooo many things for work! I've been booked almost solid for the past week so I'm making good money. My salon is also doing a big charity event on the 28th for CASA. Free services for one day with a minimum $5 donation. I hope we make CASA a lot of money! =)

Things are going well.. I'm just kinda sick again. :/ Blah.

Work has been a blessed distraction. I had a huge open house that went SO well on Sunday. 50+ people came and it was so fun. I dressed up and wore heels and a dress and I felt so -pretty-! Kristina helped out with food and was there for moral support.. she also managed to slip in to my coworkers how I am the love of her life and lots of sappy things.

There's been lots of tension whenever we see eachother now. Which is hard to deal with.. and I was being SO good about not touching, not kissing.. all that. I lost it on Sunday and just NEEDED her. So I caved and we had mindblowing, emotional sex. There was lots of crying.. mostly from her. But it was good. And I do not regret it.. I just need to not lose myself in it.

So I did sleep at her house last night.. but I wanted to see if I was ABLE to without picturing Toni in her bed. And I did picture it a few times but eventually it just faded. And that is so important to me. That it is passing and I'm letting it go.

Another fight with Kristina last night.. things were going really, really well as "just friends" until she got drunk and crossed some boundries. I'm smart enough to NOT get drunk around my ridiculously attractive recently-exed girlfriend. She can be so stupid and dissapointing..

On top of it? My first dog, Milly, got sick this week. She lives with my parents and I didn't even think it was that bad.. apparently it was. We just put her down about an hour ago.

I have two finals next week on Monday, one big quiz tomorrow, and HUGE open house at work that I am 1/3 in charge of and I still have to balance work around all of this.

I swear.. if one more bad thing happens.. I will lose it. I will just SHUT OFF for awhile.

Life throws some fucking rude things.

I think we officially broke up a few hours ago. We had the talk and although it went amazingly well and I feel better about it.. I also concluded that until I can get over the cheating, we need to just be friends.

Therefor, we are starting from square one. As friends.. getting to know eachother and trust again.

The answer to my question I posted earlier.. Kristina suggested Toni sleep in the bed after the kiss because she felt awkward already and said she put on full pajamas and gave Toni the full impression that nothing else would be happening.

I'm still not okay with it. But at least now I KNOW what happened, instead of guessing and imagining conversations.

I'm so lonely right now and all I want is my girlfriend back. But sadly.. It may be weeks/months before that happens at all.

Compared to Wednesday though.. things are looking up. Thanks to everyone who commented with support and mostly thanks to Meg. I couldn't have figured this all out without your suggestions and advice. <3

Every time I close my eyes I picture my girlfriend and my neighbor kissing and spooning.

... UUuuuugggghhh. Make it stop! Even Nyquil isn't working and my nose is sooo stuffed up from allergies, sinus issues, and crying.

Thanks everyone, for words of sympathy and offering an open ear and all. I love you guys sooooo much. Its appreciated. Hardcore.

I just wish this would pass already.

I'm fairly certain we broke up officially today and unless something changes dramatically, that's how its staying.

Molly's lesbian drama.. end.

Since I already shared TMI on the sex.. might as well do more! Plus I'm bored because I get ready to go out way faster than everyone else. :/
WARNING: Lots of sexual info? Ahaha.
( Sex survey/meme )

So aside from a few bumps in the road, my relationship with Kristina has been picture-perfect. I decided to dump all of my irrational commitment issues and just go with the flow.. Therefor, we dated for about 4 months before making it official last year on June 8th.

As of today.. 10 months!!!

That's impressive, I must say. Said bumps made me wanna run but I didn't and I won't.

<3

I never have known someone who has died. Sure, my grandpa and grandma died when I was young but I think I just didn't GET it at the time.

The woman I apprentice for on Saturdays has TONS of clients. A lot of them come every 3-4 weeks for 3 hour color/cut appointments. And one of her friends, Deb, was very sweet to me so I always enjoyed when she came in. She was around 45 or so and was such a fiesty thing. She made dirty joked and cussed, but was gentle and nice enough to be sweet to me and very kind during my first few weeks when I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I basically just got clients whatever they wanted and then shampooed color off. She would always say " You're getting SO good at this. Kathryn's never had such a good assistant. "

We talked. A LOT. I can say I genuinely thought she made an impact in my life.

I found out last night that she died in a car accident this week with both of her elderly parents. She had no children, and was on vacation.

Its so.. sad. I wish I had thanked her for being so nice to me and said how much I appreciated when she came because it was a relief from some of Kathryn's snootier clientele.

First person I knew to die. Weird feeling. I cried last night.. but I feel like there's more coming. :/

How could I forget?!

A lot has happened this week! I met my neighbors who are super sweet. These two gals named Toni and Jess and are lesbians. Haha. They are always outside smoking and we just now met them.. only 5 months after moving in!

So they invited us over for drinks before a Mardi Gras party and I met one of their friends, who owns a salon a few minutes away from here called All American Beauty Lounge. We started talking.. she's looking for a new stylist.

We had SO many of the same values and morals as far as customer service goes. So I interviewed officially on Tuesday and next Tuesday I'm going in to color/cut the owner, Barb's, hair! Then I think I'll be hired!

Its a 70% commission to start off, and after I get my clientele going I can just rent the booth from her. Its SO damn classy in there.. Pretty mirrors, gorgeous wood floors and royal blue paint job. Its very high-class looking but at affordable prices!!

So instead of opening my basement salon, I've decided I wanna try working there. And if it doesn't work out, I'll already have all of the supplies from getting together my booth rental stuff!

Either way.. I'm soooooo excited. I just have a good feeling about everything and it seems to be falling into place so easily.

Happy V-day, folks!

Usually I'm one of the people who hates this holiday.. but since I'm not single right now, I'm oddly okay with it. Figures. How typical girl of me!

Still, its nice to take some time out ( thank god its a Saturday ) and be sappy with my girl. We get so busy during the week and I usually work Saturday that the romance can be bogged down by real life stuff. Not that it isn't there.. the little things are soooo much better than the big ones. But still..

I painted Kristina a picture and wrapped it in white paper.. then put stamp-shaped stickers and made it look like a huge envelope. =) Its so silly.

She disappeared somewhere to do something for me.. I have no idea what. Haha.

Yay for surprises!

Mmkay, gonna go get cute for this dumb holiday!!

Enjoy, everyone! <3 <3 <3

Today was good! I'm starting to feel better. Got lunch with Tricia, Chad and Kristina.. We had pho. Mmmm. Spicy!! Does anyone else experience extreeeeme sleepiness after eating Pho? I dunno if its MSG or what.. jeez.

I also spent half the day reading and catching up in my classes. Yay for being productive.

All of this because,obviously, I did not go to work. Thank goodness for the crappy economy and not enough clients getting their hair done( I say that now! Pfft ) so Kathryn didn't need my assistance.

I also remembered today... I bought Phantom of the Opera tickets for Feb. 26th.We're going to be sooooooo close to the stage!!!!!!!! Eeeeeee!!!

Its been a rough week! Not only is it the second week of school, but I had to miss 2 classes because I caught a terrible cold from Kristina on Saturday. :/ I have a baaad immune system and should've figured I'd get sick but wow, bad timing!

K and I went to the doctor finally on Tuesday, which was a funny experience. We walked into the ExpressCare room to sign in and its kinda crowded but guess who's there? One of her sergeants! So we casually sit down away from this woman, and then notice that she's sitting with a rather lesbian-looking woman.. And when the woman was called back, they both went. Lesbian lovers? Baha, its soooo common in the Air Force. Anyway, it was the gayest thing that has ever happened to me and I was so amused because they let Kristina and I go into the office together, since we had the exact same thing. The doctor gave us separate antibiotics, but only one bottle of cough syrup and advised us to " put a humidifier in the bedroom." I guess its rather obvious we share a bed most of the time. :x

So I've been on meds for 3 and a half days but I still feel like shit, and I have to work tomorrow I think.

Not only the sickness, but my accounts got out of hand this week. I hadn't checked my bank account in awhile because I'm usually so good with my money, that I don't NEED to. But this month.. I check and I have $0!!! Wooo. I have money in my savings but I hate touching that. This is the first time since I moved out that I asked my mom for a little bit of money, just because I needed some things for being sick. =(

I'm glad the week is over.. but so far 2009 is kind of frustrating me. >< Everything's going too fast and I feel like I'm playing catch-up a lot.

Wow. It has been a VERY long time since I posted in this journal. I feel like writing a bit today though. Not sure anyone reads this but oh well! =)

The past year? Its been amazing. I quit my job at Cost Cutters, fell in love, failed some classes, passed some classes, and got an apprentice job at a fancy salon!

Its been kind of a crazy whirlwind but even through all of the stress, I've been happy. Mostly because of my girl, Kristina. We dated for like 4 months before making it official and soon we'll be having our 8 month anniversary! I had my reservations and concerns before... after all, I AM a Sagittarius. But I've let myself go with the flow and it feels soooo good. I've never felt this way about another person before. And as cheesy as it sounds, I'd like to spend a good amount of my life with this girl. ;)
( Just because she's sexy and I like to show her off. )

The summer was great because I didn't have school and I could just be lazy and in love. I worked at Cost Cutters for most of it but that job was truly a dead end. I had no passion there and I was just doing 15 minute easy haircuts and making $7 an hour. So Brandon's mom asked me to be her apprentice. Kathryn Spencer is the most amazing hairstylist I have ever seen. She's truly a hair genius and I'm soooo lucky to get to be her little bitch all day. Haha. Plus it is better pay. :D I'm learning all kinds of techniques and even a new color line, Chi, that is ammonia-free.

I'm slowly toying with the idea of opening my own little salon in my basement. I have a partially unfinished basement that is completely empty and about $3,000 my grandma left me when she died.

Just started the spring semester at school. I have no idea when I'll graduate, especially now that I'm only going part time. I got my own health insurance instead of getting it through my parents so I can do what I want now.

What else.. I came out to my parents and brought Kristina to dinner which caused a HUGE eruption in my mom. I think we fought the entire summer and there were lots of tears. They "said" their biggest issue with her was the fact that she is in the Air Force reserves and is more dominant than me... but uh, I'm the femme and she does NOT dominate me in a bad way. Plus, she'll be done with her 6 years in the AF next year. I don't agree with many things the military has done but she has helped me see different sides of the coin than just my uber liberal parents talking.

So I guess that's all that is new! Life is good. I hope everyone is having a good 2009 so far!

Well the convention of the year is now over! It felt like it went much too quickly! We arrived on Friday a bit later than we meant to but it was still very fun. I put on my Utena costume and from the whispering comments as I walked by I was one of the best ones there. I've never seen an Utena cosplayer before, but this year there were like 6 of us! Aha. My ego was pretty happy from all of the attention and I won't lie, I like having my picture taken. =)

Various anime convention activities happened and the highlight of the night was the Gothic Lolita Panel which was run so well. Aha, you all who did that.. Wonderful job. I love listening to you all talk about GL with so much enthusiasm and that must take some patience with all the gross people of an anime con running around. I do hate that part of conventions.. Why do like 50% of anime fans not bathe? And why do they have the intelligence/social skills of a 10 year old? It sucks.

I was also having fun being very 'out' this NDK. I wasn't pretending with the guys.. If they hit on me, I politely tried to turn them down. Hanosa/El helped with this, of course. She's a little more blunt about refusing to kiss gross guy's on the cheek. Haha.

Met up with Kathrynne and Meg for a bit too! And Meg's friend... who's name I cannot remember for the life of me. I met too many people that day! But it was a mini Takarazuka classy fangirl discussion in Starbucks. I'm glad you came, Meg! I hope your stress levels get to go down soon and you and Shasta settle, AND you get that dream job you want. =) Seriously, sending lots of love!

We really didn't seem to DO a whole lot this convention. Just a few panels, the dance, and some walking around. Got some cute pictures though. My camera has a flip panel for myspace-style pictures.. haha. We're so lame.

So the anime convention up in Denver, NDK, is coming up quickly!! I got my confirmation on registration, and hotel room.. Now I just need a costume and money saved! Haa.

I've been tossing around ideas.. Hanosa is being Count D ( Petshop of Horrors ) I believe, and I was going to be Leon.. but that's kind of a boring costume and without her around NO ONE will know who I am..

So I've been looking at outfits from anime that I like.. and I've come to settle probably on Utena. Now that show isn't my favorite, and its kind of long and crazy but Utena's an awesome wannabe-prince and her boy-school-uniform is hot.

Any suggestions on how to make this would be great. Its pretty simple.. I think I can easily get the shoes, socks, shorts, tights and wig.. The jacket is the ONLY tricky part but I want to put it together. I'm no great seamstress but I'll either try to find a jacket LIKE it and alter it, or have someone make it for me.. I don't know. I plan on wearing my corset underneathe so I have that unrealistic Utena waistline.. Haha.

Again, any help and suggestions! Please let me know.. NDK is on September 14th!!

Long time no write! Haha. I get in livejournal fits, then stop, then it circles around! Oops. I'm more in the mood to write now though.

So not much new other than working.. Before school Hannah, Tyler and I went up and had dinner with merryshannon and her amazing girlfriend Shasta and one of Shasta's friends! It was super yummy thai food, homemade.. Mmmm.. I love Meg's cooking! Aha!

Then we went up to Tracks and had a great time! I love dancing with everyone and I'm uh.. slowly getting better! I think! HA!

Then school started, this last Tuesday. I love all of my classes, I really do but.. ugh. Working and school.. I've never done it.

I have English, Japanese 3, Psychology, and Cultural Anthropology.. So ALL things I have interests in and am fairly good at.

So good things! I also have done some soul searching lately.. I was surrounded by couples and romantic things and longing desperately for a girlfried but y'know.. I'm not comfortable with myself to be dating anyone right now and since no one is coming up.. Its perfect! I've been eating better ( Thanks Shasta! ) and working out to improve my external insecurities and meditation for my inner ones. I feel pretty good about life today.

I hardly have time for my Takarazuka lufflies.. <3 Ugh. Every time I watch a clip or hear a song though my heart melts. I wish I could be more active but alas.. nope. Sorry for all of you who friended me for the GRAPH scans! I do have some more but its going to be awhile before I have free time for that.

Anyway, I'm going to try to be more into livejournal again because I do love it and I love reading about all your lives so.. write, write, write! :D Byebye!

So this new job thing.. Cost Cutters. The training pays awesome and it DOES look like I'll be having a lot of hours. I did register on Saturday and royally messed up but I learned a lot.. and then I was to have Tues-Wed of 10-5 training in color and such..

But now, BEFORE those classes, I'm suppose to go in and work 3-8 without any of that knowledge.. dear god I hope I do okay and finish haircuts fast enough. I'm kind of slooow! And they go through them in like 15 minutes! Aiie. Getting called in at the last minute suuucks.

I hafta run now.. Therapy is first. HECTIC DAY. :/

I haven't posted on here in awhile! Seems like I've been not spending much time on the net lately which is good..

Mostly because I've been occupied with a little boy kitten named Hiro!

He's so cute and I wasn't going to keep him, just help look for a home but.. I love him and cannot give him up!
( Pictures! )

My old good friend Dustin is suppose to fly here tomorrow and visit for a week but uh, I haven't heard from him in 3 days and he deleted his myspace apparently? I hate crap like that.. I mean, if I'm all preparing for him to come and something just came up? He should let me know, at least!

I'm sad about Osa's retirement. VERY sad.. but I haven't been up with CURRENT Takarazuka much so I don't know.. Everyone did see it coming! Still, she'll be missed and I would kill to know what Asa thinks about it and what she'll do. SADNESS.

Uuuum, what else.. Oh, good luck merryshannon on getting to your convention! :o Hopefully it all works out okaay.. Bad timing for the wind!

I was so so so nervous, because as I was taking the test a lot of pedicure questions came up. Which is odd... I'm a hairstylist only. I've never even HEARD about pedicure stuff. But I guessed, and apparently.. was correct.

The guy said congratulations and handed me my license and I burst into tears.

WHAT A GIRL.

Proceeded to call my mom and cry a lot. This is a huge milestone for me. I don't think I realized how much of my ego it was eating up, not having gotten my license yet.

So as of today, I am a licensed hairstylist and can start work any time ( once I decide whereeee.. haha )

AHHHH. <3 <3

Thanks to everyone who wished me luck and sent me good vibes. I love you!

I'm even more nervous than I was last time I took this damn test. :/

Everyone send me good vibes at 12:30!! Ahhh. I've gotta sleep now.

I just want this license so I can work and make money... ready for that chapter in my life ( being an unlicensed hairstylist ) to be over. I finished school, earned my license but never got it and... I just want it.

:x Night!